


Play As Myself

by Lunarium



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Identity, Monsters & Mana (Voltron), Trans Female Character, Trans Keith (Voltron), Trans Male Character, Trans Shiro (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:20:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29767836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunarium/pseuds/Lunarium
Summary: Shiro, Keith, and their children get ready to meet up with friends for another M&M session. Shiro thinks back to how this game, and Kuron, helped her realize her gender.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Kudos: 6
Collections: Bloom: a Trans Sheith Zine





	Play As Myself

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this back during summer-fall 2020 for the BLOOM zine on trans experiences. All the love for Shiro, Happy Birthday. ♥

Akira peered around her mother’s head to check her process in the mirror. She beamed at the handiwork of her braid and hopped back to work. Marveling at her mother’s long platinum locks, shimmery and almost silver like Queen Allura, Akira gave a dreamy sigh as she wound the braid in the back into a stylized bun. 

“And…done!” 

⁂

Shiro chuckled at her reflection. 

“Wonderful job!” Shiro praised Akira warmly. “You’re a natural at this.” She turned to her daughter, the eldest of her and Keith’s children. Akira was already fully dressed, having picked out a princess skirt so she would look the part of her Monsters and Mana character. Sven, meanwhile, was struggling against Keith as Keith attempted to slip on Sven’s little booties. 

“Mom, why’s your hair all white but not ours?” Akira asked. “Sven and me don’t have hair like yours. It’s pretty, like Queen Allura’s!”

Shiro smiled. “My hair was dark like yours—and your hair’s very beautiful!—” she couldn’t resist running her hand through Akira’s locks, making her giggle—“but then an evil witch took me away from my friends, and many terrible things happened. Keith saved me, and Allura healed me. When I awoke, my hair was white as snow. I guess the color is a sign that I was given a second chance!”

Akira and Sven both squealed with delight. They had heard many versions of the tale in their tiny lives, but nonetheless they had never grown tired of hearing of the time Keith saved Shiro from beyond the thresholds of death. 

“Jus’ like Monsta’ an’ Mana!” Sven cooed. 

“Was it with a true love’s kiss?” Akira asked in a hushed whisper, about to combust. 

The reality was a little more boring than that, but Shiro offered her a wink to satisfy the curiosity. 

Earning the desired effect, Akira burst into giddy giggles and ran off. Shiro returned to the mirror. Part of her head was shaved, as she simply could not part with her beloved undercut. It had been Keith’s idea long ago before her mission to Kerberos. She had worn her hair in several ways over the years, and even very short, but always kept the undercut. This time half her hair was long, as long as she could grow it, giving her a chance to style it any way she liked. 

“Sven’s finally all done,” Keith said behind Shiro with a playfully exasperated sigh. The squees of their aforementioned child could be heard behind them as he toddled after his sister. “Almost set?” 

“Just a few more minutes,” Shiro said, smiling up at him. “Make sure they’re not tormenting Kosmo.” 

Keith smiled and gave a nod before leaving. Turning back to her reflection in the mirror, Shiro sighed contently. She pulled a stray strand of hair over her ear, which held a dazzling little pearl earring. Perhaps a little overdressed for a simple gathering with all of their friends, but ever since…well…Shiro wanted to relish every moment. 

_This body is perfect_ , she thought. Perfect in every possible way. 

⁂

When Shiro had first awoken in her body, she was dismayed. It wasn’t just that her spirit had spent the last hours of her time in the Black Lion watching helplessly as her evil clone nearly killed the love of her life, it wasn’t just that she was suspicious and hateful of her clone…it was something else. 

Something was off. 

And yet, nothing was wrong. Not physically, at least. Everything should have been perfect. She was completely healthy, freed from the illness that had threatened to cut her life short before…before the fight with Zarkon. 

But something was off. 

She couldn’t quite put a finger on it—that is, until the team had rolled out the game Monsters and Mana, and the others were filling Shiro in on how her clone had played the game. 

“And he _always_ chose to be a paladin!” Pidge moaned, while Hunk nodded and rolled his eyes. 

Shiro had smirked at her clone’s chosen backstory for Takashi Shirogane, when the pieces started to fall into place…

⁂

Kuron might not have been aware of it. Indeed, up until that moment Shiro herself had never been privy to it. But she had her ‘evil’—although time had softened her stance on the other—clone to thank. Otherwise, Shiro would never have discovered a truth of herself that, in retrospect, was wholly present all her life despite her oblivion to the fact. 

The first time she, or rather Kuron, played as Takashi Shirogane in the game, she was actually playing as…well, playing as Takashi Shirogane. Not as herself, but a silly perception of a male version of herself: a muscle-flexing, testosterone-infused macho nightmare of a hero who was jackshit when push came to shove. 

Takashi Shirogane was a caricature. The over-inflated hero everyone saw. The _man_ everyone saw. Kuron was laughing at himself—no, Shiro was laughing at herself, laughing at the image she had displayed for others, for years and years and years. 

Instead of a name like Valayun or Meklavar or even Pike, her clone had chosen Takashi Shirogane: that was her mask. Her mask in the fantasy world contained her dead name as though it were part of the costume. That was all the name “Takashi Shirogane” truly meant to her. The name was plastered on her driving license, her diplomas, all of her legal documents, but her eyes would simply glaze over them, feeling nothing towards them as though not recognizing herself in the name.

Takashi wasn’t her.

She was Shiro. 

Suddenly, the flickering sensations of her past, of why being called _Shiro_ felt right compared to Takashi. She hadn’t understood the implications of it until now, how she used to feel disappointment whenever Adam called her Takashi, or a tiny bit euphoric whenever her friends called her Shiro. Perhaps her grandfather, Ryou, had, now that she thought back on it. Hadn’t he given Shiro a knowing shine in his eyes when she had asked to be called Shiro instead, years and years ago? 

Shiro could be a name for a boy or a girl. Shiro hadn’t even thought about it back then; she just knew it made her feel more at ease. It just felt right. 

That was, perhaps, the closest thing Shiro could recall to having dysphoria in her past. Then again, another matter took up so much occupation in her mind that she was left with not much else to think about. Most of her life was plagued with a frightening disease. It was all her parents would talk about. It was all she obsessed over, the stars being her only escape. It had left a general ill feeling that she carried with her over her throughout her life, making every step feel surreal, a step in a dreamworld. 

If there was anything that raged in her mind, wishing to emerge free out of her body, she assumed it was the result of being in a dying body. 

And so, when she was in her clone’s body, she was finally in a body that was, as the witch had designed, utterly perfect. But the general feelings of unease kept creeping back. At first she had assumed it was simply being in the body of her clone, until she began playing the game. 

⁂

Of all the paladins, her own best friend and lover Keith would understand. Although he didn’t have a dead name, as the Galra sensed gender through smell rather than declared it by some outdated means at birth. His experience wasn’t likely to line up with Shiro’s, but she felt most comfortable going to him. 

After all, Keith had needed Shiro’s help before. Although he had lived comfortably as a boy all his life, financial situations meant he couldn’t get the proper hormonal treatment growing up. His own dysphoria over his chest had steadily gotten worse, until coming to the Galaxy Garrison finally offered him relief. 

Shiro was with him for the surgery, offering emotional support. She didn’t leave his bedside, and helped with the post-op care. That, among other moments, had solidified their friendship. 

“Hey, Keith,” Shiro began one day. They were alone, far from earshot of anyone snooping, even Romelle or Hunk. Sensing the tightness in Shiro’s voice, Keith leaned closer. 

“Shiro?” Shiro’s heart instantly warmed. Keith was always ready to help, in an instant. She could give him the biggest hug if she weren’t a nervous wreck. 

“Remember your…surgery?” Shiro motioned around her chest, suddenly panicked. Why was she faltering with opening up about this? Keith would understand!

A big step, she realized. This was a really huge step, and she was about to take it. No turning back. Was this what she really wanted? 

Keith simply nodded. “What about it?” 

Shiro scoffed. She was so silly to get this nervous! It was only Keith, looking up at her with all the care and affection in his beautiful violet-grey eyes. But also…she was really going to do this. 

A deep breath. Her heart fluttered like a butterfly about to take flight. 

“Keith. I’ve been thinking a lot about this. Ever since I…came back…I’ve learned something about myself. Something very important. And I…I need to go on hormonal therapy, similar to yours…but…in the other direction. Because I…” 

The last few words were spoken in a near whisper, fading from her lips in shame, but Keith pounced on her, wrapping his arms tightly around her. 

She didn’t even need to wonder what he thought. His big smile said it all. 

⁂

Takashi Shirogane died again, chewed up by one of the Coranic Dragon’s attacks. This was a different Takashi from the one Kuron had played (which Shiro had argued would be a different character, this time a million times more annoyingly macho than before). 

“Ah, you died, Mama!” Akira whined. Her own character, the great Unicorn Warrior Princess Katalina-Lyria, stood near the fallen paladin. 

“And you were so close!” Allura tutted sadly. 

Shiro chuckled. “It’s okay, Akira. I have another character planned.” 

At this Hunk, Pidge, and Lance groaned. Even Coran turned towards her with an apprehensive face. 

“Okay, spit him out,” Coran said, dejected. 

“ _Her_ ,” Shiro corrected. “This time, I’m thinking of playing as myself.” 

The rest looked up, curious to meet the new character—that is, until they saw the commissioned art and their jaws dropped. 

“Everyone: meet Admiral Shiro of the Seven Heavens, High Paladin of the Cosmic Goddess.” 

“ _Another_ paladin?!” Lance cried out before giving the painting a closer look and whistling. “Ah, but she’s so pretty!” He quickly gawked, just barely avoiding Allura’s glare, and glanced at Keith, who laughed and waved a hand to show no hard feelings.

The others groaned at the choice of a paladin, but they were equally intrigued. A powered-up character, if potentially even more annoying than the past Takashi Shirogane? 

“Think of her as my most ultimate form,” Shiro boasted proudly. 

“That’s a very impressive portrait,” Pidge commented, blushing slightly at the details. 

“Yeah,” Hunk said, sounding a little jealous. “I’d love a piece done of Block like that.”

“Yeah!” Lance chimed in. “I want Pike looking bad-ass and all sexy too!” 

Shiro grinned at her commissioned artist, Keith, who just smiled back and winked. She knew Keith would probably approach Hunk later about doing a piece for him, as a gift from a friend, and not tell Lance. 

Akira’s eyes widened, perhaps recognizing her father’s art style, before Shiro placed a finger against her lips. Of course in due time she and Sven would also get their own art pieces for their characters: Katalina-Lyria and Bam-Bam the Berserker Space Mouse.

While the others admired the cosmically gorgeous Admiral Shiro of the Seven Heavens, Shiro scanned around the room. She had been planning this character for a while, having finally read up more on the game.

“Can’t wait,” Keith said next to her and offered her a kiss. Nestled in front of them, Sven poked at the new Shiro figure standing proudly over her fallen predecessor. 

Shiro smiled at her character. 

She felt at home. She hadn’t even realized she was lost in the wilderness before. But had her clone never shown her, she may never have bloomed into her ultimate form.

**Author's Note:**

> Akira’s character, Katalina-Lyria, comes from two favorite characters from the game Granblue Fantasy.


End file.
